I’m Still Here and Happy Holidays!

Well well!  Guess who’s still here!

Hello and welcome to the one more day closer to winter on the northern hemisphere!  Holy smokes guys.  I can’t believe it’s been since June that I have posted anything.  143 days, not that I counted or anything.  My life, to say the least, has been pretty chaotic.  I’ll give you the cliff’s notes here:

• Well, sadly but thankfully at the same time, we had to move my grandparents to a permanent nursing facility due to their declining health.  Honestly, we couldn’t take care of them like we need to, and they deserve to be taken care of by ourselves, so my dad did a lot of the major lifting to make this happen.  Thank God that it did!
• I’m still making Catholic podcasts via YouTube my main source of media watching/listening.  I’ve actually given a very DEEP dive into my favorite channel “Pints with Aquinas”.  Not only do I love to watch Matt Fradd’s videos, but I think I actually like Fr. Gregory Pine O.P.’s videos even more. 
• My band was rocking n’ rolling until quite recently when a situation that had been a long time coming finally came to fruition.  Our bass player had to quit to take care of himself.  He’s not actually doing a very good job of taking care of himself, but at least the temptation to ruin his life is not because of us anymore.  Long story.
• With all that’s been going on, I’ve slacked it on my health.  What’s new, right? 

Ok!  I think that covers the majority of it.  I’m sure I’m missing a few things here and there.  I would like to talk about those 4 bullet points at length and maybe I will in the future.  I really wanted to say a few more things with this post though. 

First off, I’m still here!!!!  I’ve seen along the time that I’ve gotten a few more follows and a few likes on previous posts and I appreciate it!  In case you haven’t really noticed, I’m not writing on this blog to make any money off of it, or influence you in any way (well, maybe religiously every now and again), or teach you anything.  Really, all I’m doing with this and all I’ve ever wanted to do with this blog is to write out my thoughts, feelings, tell the tales of situations that I can’t help but to share due to significance or other reasons, and just to get things off my shoulders as to not be a burden on my mind and soul.  Believe me, there’s been a lot of times in the past 143 days that I’ve wanted and or needed to put fingers to keyboard to type out things that have happened in my life, but life keeps getting in the way and I run out of time each day to do it.  I figure that I had an opportunity now, so here we are!

Secondly, and this is going to be the main story of this post, my favorite time of the year has arrived!!!!!  Yes, November 1^st (All Saints Day) to January 6^th (Feast of The Epiphany) is my favorite time of year.  We get rid of the horribleness that is “Halloween” with all of its celebration of sin, and we get into honoring the saints, remembering our loved ones, then all of the things that follow.  I mean, you know!  Haha!  Why am I telling you as if you’re not aware, right?  Point is days like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve make me the happiest.  Here’s the kicker though.  I can’t remember if I’ve ever posted about this or not, but I LOVE to spend those holidays alone.  Well, let me be honest, I love to spend every day alone, but I really make those holidays an emphasis to try to spend them alone if I can.  Now, I know that is contrary to most of everybody’s thoughts on those days, but me being the most introverted INFJ person you’ll probably ever meet, and its accompanying strong isolophilia makes me want to spend those days at home and alone.  It’s not a sad thing for me, mind you, it’s a joyous time for me.

Here’s my rundown of each day:

• Thanksgiving:  I love to wake up at 6am to get myself situated to get ready to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on my local NBC affiliate.  It’s honestly the next thing after the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest that I look forward to in the calendar year.  No joke!  I love watching the balloons, new and old, take flight going down the parade route, and seeing the floats, new and old, make their way down the street as well.  I’m usually drinking coffee and eggnog while it’s going on and about the middle of it, I set up my Peanuts Christmas Tree and small decorations in and around it.  The Christmas spirit really hits me then.  Once the parade ends at 10am, I jump in the shower while the local parade, which God bless them they try, is leaps and bounds extremely inferior to Macy’s plays on the television.  About an hour into said parade is when I remember that the Detroit game has started, so I switch the tv to that and start to prepare my dinner.  Let me tell you, for a single guy living alone, the seasoned turkey breast in a bag that goes straight from the freezer to the oven is the best thing ever!  It’s so much easier than dealing with the whole bird.  And let’s be honest, unless you’re crushing turkey legs at Disney, the breast meat is what you’re going to be eating anyway.  That takes about 2-3 hours, so I usually eat my turkey/homemade garlic mashed potatoes/corn/Hawaiian roll dinner during my beloved Dallas Cowboys game and end my day listening to Christmas Music as I enjoy my first night with the lighted decorations adorning my living room in the flat.

• Christmas Eve/Christmas:  Christmas for me, starts on Christmas Eve.  If I’m not given the day off from work, I’m hoping for the early release or notice that we’ve been given the day off.  If I do have the day off, I start it off by starting my favorite Christmas movies.  In no particular order, they are:  Batman Returns, Gremlins, Friday After Next, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas, A Christmas Story, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and The Polar Express.  I know what you’re thinking.  Batman?  A Friday movie?  Harold and Kumar?  Really, dude!  YES!  Really!  Those all happen during or around Christmas!  I love it!  They put me in such a good mood!  I make sure to nap out a bit because I love to go to Midnight High Mass at my local FSSP parish, but in order to get there and have my usual area in the pews, I must arrive around 10 or so at night.  Mass ends about 1:30am, so I get home at 2am on Christmas Day feeling super happy and blessed.  Sleep comes, and when I wake up in the morning, the film festival continues, and I tend to like to end the night by watching The Polar Express.  Actually, I go with the traditional Christmas movies at the end and go off-beat ones first.  In any event, I love ending Christmas Day’s night with the peace and love I feel due to Christ’s love and the warm feelings Christmas gives me.

• New Year’s Eve/Day: This is another great day that I love spending alone.  The party, for me, starts in the afternoon when I put the film Four Rooms on.  This film takes place on a New Year’s Eve and it’s a very wacky movie.  It’s right up my alley!  Once that finishes, I start watching CNN’s coverage of the world ringing in the new year.  I’ve had a tradition, about 20 years and counting, about ordering a pizza, getting or making some buffalo hot wings for dinner.  This is a must.  It’s not NYE without it.  With that being said, a tradition I incorporated about 7 years ago or so when I was trying a sober NYE (I know, I was crazy) was to buy a bottle of Welch’s Sparkling Grape Juice.  I usually switch the channels between CNN, ABC, and NBC watching their NYE specials while drinking various alcoholic beverages.  When the clock strikes midnight, I drink said bottle of sparkling grape juice and as of last year, the only sparkling wine/champagne that I think I’ll drink which is Asti – Rivata.  I can’t speak enough about it.  It’s available here at a relatively low price, but boy is it flavorful!  Granted, I have never had Cristal or Dom, but still! This bottle is awesome!  So, anyway, the texts and social media posts go out, and then I start watching the NYE coverage from Las Vegas, Nevada.  Their fireworks display ends about 1:10am, and I call it a night after that.  New Year’s Day starts off with Low Mass, as it’s a holy day of obligation, then I generally relax and get ready for what the new year will bring me.

So, there you go my friends!  I’m still here and my favorite time has come!  I hope we all make it a good one! 

getting back to it

Hi and happy Monday, y’all!!  I hope this weekend treated you well. 

I wanted to share quick tidbits of my weekend because it was unusual for our time.  I actually had a busy weekend out of my flat but still in town for the first time in who knows how long!  As most of you know, I’m almost at hermit levels on my stay in game, but I’ve felt the need to step out since being considered fully vaccinated as of April 10^th.  Of course, that weekend I was out camping with most of the band, so I was itching to get back to pre-pandemic stuff like going to confession, out to a restaurant to eat, and to attend Low Mass, which I did all of!  I like to confess at the cathedral here in El Paso because that’s one of the only, if not the only, Novus Ordo parish in town that still does anonymous confession.  I know it’s strange of me to have anonymous confessors, as I usually do not confess at my FSSP parish where I am a member of, but I oddly feel more comfortable confessing my sins to priest that I do not know.  I’ll be honest as well and say that this confession Saturday was my first confession in 406 days when I confessed at the basilica in Santa Fe, New Mexico.  W H O A.  That’s a long time for me, considering that I go to confession at least once every two weeks.  It’s not that I didn’t want to go, but with the pandemic going on, and our bishop closing our parishes for a few months there, I really didn’t feel comfortable being around strangers.  I’ve always been masked, but honestly not knowing where other people have been and being in a confined space with them for an hour or longer (even being socially distant) was not something I felt comfortable with until I was fully vaccinated.  My heart and soul were yearning to receive God’s grace again and Thanks be to Him that I was able to be absolved of the stain of sin on Saturday afternoon.  I went to the tabernacle afterwards (as we should after confession) to spend some time with our Lord and I felt so great.

I followed confession up with a visit to one of my favorite local restaurants to have some wings and beer.  Aside from a quiet post birthday Tuesday restaurant visit in December (that I honestly felt iffy about doing), this was my first restaurant visit in over a year here in town as well.  I can’t tell you the excitement I felt to sit at the bar (because I’m usually rolling solo deep), watch MLB Network, drink a few beers, and eat some wings.  I was just so happy to feel normal.  I really took in the moment and thanked God again for allowing me to enjoy that simple pleasure.  It’s odd how it’s the small things that can really make somebody happy, right?  I was in such a good mood that after the quick 8-minute drive home, I celebrated the moment a bit more with some music and some just nice alone time at home.

Sunday brought my first Low Mass since March 8^th of last year.  Holy SMOKES!!!!  I can’t even believe it, but it’s true.  Looking back at my trusty Google timeline, I saw that the weekend after that, I was in Salt Lake City spending the weekend with my best friend and his wife n’ kiddo and on that flight back from Salt Lake International Airport things got really real.  As I was waiting at the gate, CNN was on the TV, and the severity of COVID-19 was becoming apparent.  I even saw some people with facemasks in the airport then, and even saw one woman in full on medical gown, facemask, and surgical gloves.  I didn’t think she was crazy, by any means, but it made me feel vulnerable because I didn’t have any PPE on me.  It was sometime later during that week that our diocese stopped public celebrations of the sacrifice of the Mass, and I was sent home to shelter in place on March 25^th.  As it stands now, Mass capacity is capped at 50% and we are still dispensed from holy days of obligation but being fully vaccinated makes me feel safe enough to go back, which I did.  It felt so awesome to be back at my FSSP parish to hear my pastor give his weekly announcements and his always thoughtful and college dissertation sounding homily.  I don’t mean that as an insult either, I love having a college lecture-esque homily as opposed to some off the cuff rambling kinda going around a central theme on the day’s gospel.  Not that those are wrong either, but I love a more formal, well thought out, homily, personally.

Yesterday also brought about our 2^nd band practice since starting back up.  We were really on it this practice and even played 3 new songs, 2 of which being original songs.  Man, nothing feels more awesome than working out a new song!  1 of the 2 originals we’ve actually thrown around as a jam and even put lyrics to from at least 5 years back (if not longer), but I think we want to actually make this song stick and play it live as a new song.  The other is a fresh and brand-new song born out of our tit-for-tat thing we’re doing with people who have written and released songs with our band name as the song title.  We’re responding in kind (not that they wrote a song because of us, mind you) and this one that our guitarist wrote came out so amazing just as a guitar/vocal piece that I could not wait to put bass and drums behind it and boy was I right!  It’s was so beautiful, sad, and great!  I think we might actually start to play more originals, and I’m all for that!  Also, each time I’ve done so, I just have to take a moment to really take my love for playing drums in.  It’s probably my favorite thing to do.  I thank God that He blessed me with the talent of being a percussionist.

There was one down note this weekend, however.  When I got home, I noticed that my laptop appeared to be asleep.  Sadly, I was mistaken.  What really happened is I think my hard drive died.  UGH!!!!  The monetary cost of replacing it won’t be that big of problem, but what will be a giant problem will be the hours that I’m going to need to fix up my music library and iTunes.  The pictures I had saved on the hard drive are cool, but I know I can get all of those on my google pictures backup, and there was really nothing else there but some documents.  I’m hoping that all of that can be saved, as I think all the data is corrupted, but the HDD just can’t find the boot file, which is a sure sign of death.  It really ruined the rest of my Sunday and even affected my morning this morning, but as soon as I made it to work, I realized that even though I’m going to possibly deal with hours of work to get things back in order, maybe a break from podcasts is what I needed.  One less physical device to distract me, right?  I’ll get it fixed eventually, but I’m in no hurry and I really shouldn’t let it get to me, so it’s not anymore.  I came to peace with it.

So now I start this week anew.  My plan is to make it back to the gym on Wednesday and go all the way through Saturday, watch Zack Snyder’s Justice League on Saturday after my gym sesh (hopefully), and take it easy this weekend.

I hope y’all have a great week!

…And I Know What I’m Looking For

Happy Monday to you all.  Well, we’ve made it into 2020 for real now.  Everybody is probably back to work and getting back to their routine by now.  Y’all who were off the past two weeks are lucky!!!  Man, it feels like it’s been longer than 2 weeks since Christmas day.  In any event, welcome to 2020.

The main topic of this post is about love and relationships.  Just thought I’d put that right out on front street.  I think it’s safe to say that I’ve yet again given up on the matter.  I know, I’ve said it before and before you know it, I’m wrapped up in some delusion of some relationship, but I think that God has opened up my eyes to really see what’s going on and I’m sad and at peace with it all at the same time.  Let me explain.  I mean, I guess technically I’m still involved in a relationship as nothing has been made official, but considering that I haven’t seen this significant other since April of this past year and hardly talk to her now, it’s safe to say that no words need to be said.  Actions speak louder in this case.  Honest truth is that I’m not even sad about it.  The more I’ve grown, the more I realize what it is that I really want out of a relationship.  What I want is a woman who loves God as much as I do.  Not more or less, really, just as much as I do.  I came to this realization last night talking to a friend of mine who is in search of a companion, just not how I am.  I’ll put it that way.  The conversation made me think about my own situation.  I mean, in my younger (and more stupid) days, that was always a sort of fantasy of mine.  All the people in my work and personal life circles were just out there committing immoral acts and “enjoying life”, you know?  And there I was, just sitting on the sidelines.  Honestly, I don’t know why I wanted just even a taste of that life.  Maybe because I wanted to see how it felt.  Well, thankfully, I never really got it.  I’ve been in meaningful relationships, but they all seemed to just break apart.

The more I gave it thought last night, the more I realized it was because I’m just simply too boring for this world.  Now, wait a minute.  By no means am I saying that to seek pity or anything.  Let me clarify.  I don’t like to go to bars and spend lots of money just to drink and get drunk and act stupidly.  I surely don’t ever want to go to a club or live that club lifestyle either.  I also tend to use my weekends to just stay home and rest or do my housework as most of my weekdays are occupied with work.  I know I’m not making the case for sounding like a catch, but hear me out a second.  Do you know what my focus is on, now more so than ever?  God.  My relationship with our Lord is the most important thing in my life.  I’m sure not to do anything that will keep me out late at night on Saturday because I need to wake up at 6:20am on Sunday morning to go to Traditional Latin Low Mass at my local FSSP parish.  My love of God and His church has even curtailed my enjoyment of consuming alcohol.  For the past few months, I’ve just been really over it.  I’m not completely sober or anything, but I really just don’t have any desire to drink.  I had too much one last time on December 6^th of this past year for my birthday at a gig we played with a fellow band we’re friends with, but even then I didn’t want to, but damn peer pressure and gifted birthday shots did me in.

So, that’s kind of the basics of it all.  I’d really rather spend my Friday nights cleaning house, Saturday mornings doing laundry, and Saturday afternoon and evening relaxing to prepare for me to worship our Lord at the holy sacrifice of the Mass on Sunday mornings.  I want to learn more about the things I find interest in (like history and the historical events of significance over the past 150 years specifically).  I want to get better at bowling as I go every Monday afternoon now.  I want to get back into golf this spring as well!  I want to better myself, continue to learn about my faith, lose weight, and be relatively sober while doing it.

I don’t know if I can really live a super strict conservative life, and that’s why I say that I want a woman who loves God as much as I do.  Not more or less.  Definitely not less, actually.  I want to be able to look forward to going to Low Mass with a partner who will respect God and herself to dress modestly and will not try to find reasons to not go to Mass.  I’d really prefer to have a partner who is a follower of the Traditional Latin Rite as well.  I know my aim is specific, but I just can’t compromise and then get my heart broken and wonder what it is that I did wrong any longer.  I feel like I need to admit it to the world and more importantly myself.  I’m an INFJ introvert, traditional Catholic, mostly conservative, musically inclined man who seeks a woman with similar attributes and likes.  I know I’m aiming at a target that is the size of a pinhead from miles away, but I just can’t compromise anymore.  If I can’t find that perfect match, then let God’s will be done and I live a celibate holy life for the rest of my days.  But I’d be lying to you if I said that I yearn for a family.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all!

Stay in Your Lane

Hello again, y’all!  This blog finds me 2 days out from my 39^th birthday.  I was meaning to write a post about it but considering that it fell on a Monday this year, nothing of note came to mind.  Stupid Mondays.  Anyway, something else of note did come to mind and I think it kinda intertwines with being another year older.

I’ve been realizing more and more that the older that I get, the more conservative I get with my views.  With that said, however, I don’t think that I’ll ever get to the level of some of the people I’ve seen who take the “holier than thou” approach to anything moderate and “left” of that.  I’m actually not a fan of being radically one way or the other, to be honest.  I think once you get too far past the tipping point of even, you start to lose prospective on things.  Well, that’s my opinion at least.  I’ve realized that I’ve experienced this on both spectrums a lot as of late.

For example, this damn “cancel culture” that we live in now is just sickening.  These people who are offended by every little thing make the tallest mountains out of the smallest of molehills and it ruins people’s lives.  I don’t understand how somebody can’t just be regularly offended, throw an insult out (even if it’s just to yourself about the offending person) and move on with their lives?  Is it that hard of a thing to do?  What’s the point of gathering a mob just to shame somebody over an offense?  Get over it.  Grow a thicker skin.  That’s what I say.  As wrong as that may be.  People need to learn to accept adversity in their lives.

On the flip side of that coin, though, some people are just… assholes!  There’s no other way to put it.  An example I was recently exposed to is a sect of traditional Catholics whom I tried to give their podcast a listen to, but just couldn’t get past the hatred in their message.  This group is Norvus Ordo Watch.  Let me set this up for you really quick.  As I’ve mentioned on a few blog posts here, I consider myself a traditional Catholic person.  I attend a FSSP (Fraternal Society of Saint Peter) parish that lives and celebrates the traditional Catholic lifestyle, including following the old liturgical calendar, and celebrating the Latin Mass using the 1962 Roman Missal.  I know it’s almost closed minded of me to think and say this, but the Norvus Ordo Mass to me is so… icky.  LOL!  That’s the only way I can describe it.  From the priest facing the laity during Mass, the laity doing priestly things (like raising their hands or opening their hands to pray over people), holding hands during the “Our Father”, the sign of peace, the complete lack of respect in the way people dress to go to church, not knowing the catechism of the church, holy days of obligation, the lack of availability of confession/the wanting to be in a state of grace, etc… I could go on.  Point is, I think it’s a big reason that so many people during the peak of the baby boomer generation left the Church and why there are over 36,000+ different forms of protestantism.  Nobody knew their faith enough to defend it or to try and stay with it and live a true Catholic life.  Anyway, back to Norvus Ordo Watch.  These dudes take my point of view and turn the volume up of that to like 99 on a scale of 10 as far as the things that bother them.  They are not quite like FSSP which is in full communion with Rome and has the blessing of the Holy See to practice the traditional rite.  Oh no.  These guys say that the Chair of Peter is vacant!  On this last podcast (and I actually unsubscribed after hearing the 50 minutes of hate speech), the guy who hosts the podcast was just spewing out his hate and just to show how spineless he is, actually put it out on front street that he was not going to give out his identity!  What kinda madness is that?!  Talking ALL this smack saying how “Francis”, (not even calling our Holy Father, THE POPE!) does this and that, and talking smack about the cardinals and bishops in line with Pope Francis doing all sorts of things but doesn’t have the guts to put his name behind his complaints.  I don’t understand that, by the way.  Complaining, but not doing anything about it.  What’s the point after complaining once or twice about something?  I mean, I do that, hell everybody does!  “Oh, this sucks!” but then we move on one way or another, you know?  These peeps are hammering their complaints to the ground, but don’t do anything about it.  They just want to keep making sure people know that “this ain’t EWTN. (said sarcastically)” and “Francis is the anti-pope.”  What the hell, guys?  Again.  Hatred without even any understanding of the other side.  I mean, don’t get me wrong.  Like I said here before, I’m no fan of the norvus ordo faith myself, but I practice the faith the way I feel the best to do it and along the actual rules and authority of Holy Mother Church.  I pray that more people become enlightened in their faith, and want to actually learn their faith as I have.  Understand that doing the things that they do are wrong when it feels right (enter your mortal sin that you try to justify here).  I’m not trying to start a revolution and claiming that we have no pope!  I don’t like the things that Pope Francis does either, but I also have the assurance that no matter what “The gates of hell shall not prevail against” the church.  We may have shady popes doing shady things (and believe me, we have had many in the past 2,000 years), but that has never led to the disrespect of the successor of Peter like I’ve seen it.  Maybe it was that way with the real bad popes back in the middle ages, but considering the global world we live in now, it’s way more visible of a defiance from people that we see now.  I pray for the poor souls in this world and the next.

I don’t know.  Maybe it’s just me.   I’m not a line stepper.  I’m not one to raise my voice in opposition of anything.  I don’t like to rock the boat.  I keep my mouth shut and my head down and mind my own damn business.  I wish a lot more people would do the same.  But that’s just me.

What is Love?

2 blogs in one week?!  Oh yes, my friends!  I feel compelled to talk about something else that’s been on my mind a lot as of late.  I feel very uneasy to admit this because, frankly, it’s not something that I would have found myself saying even 5 years ago, but I’m finding that I am becoming a very conservative person.  Dun DUN DUN!!!!!!! Yes, I know!  I am a sellout.  I am becoming everything I hated, but alas it’s true.  I should clarify and say that I don’t go around throwing around the word “liberal” or calling people “liberals”.  No, those people are assholes.  I have no shame in saying that.  I don’t go around judging people based on their ideals… well for the most part I don’t.  The thing I do do, however, is live a conservative lifestyle and I have been for about the past 3-4 years.  Sure, I have my moments of stupidity every now and again where I let things get away from me and the way I am choosing to live my life goes by the wayside, but those moments have been few and far between.  I’m trying to live a true Catholic lifestyle and let me tell you this… I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my adult life.  I feel like I’m finally getting things right in my life, you know?

Ok, so you’ve gotten this far.  Don’t freak out on me!  If you know me in real life, let me assure you that nothing has changed.  I’m not going to treat you any differently than I have before.  I’m not, as what some people (me included on occasion) blast out, a “holy roller” or a “Jesus freak”.  I may, in fact be those things, but I don’t act them out as to be an attention whore either.  My favorite passage in The Bible happens to be Matthew, Chapter 6.  It’s really the foundation for my beliefs.  If you’ll indulge me:

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Concerning Almsgiving

6 “Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them; for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.2 “Thus, when you give alms, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by men. Truly, I say to you, they have their reward. 3 But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your alms may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

Concerning Prayer

5 “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have their reward. 6 But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.[a] 7 “And in praying do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard for their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. 9 Pray then like this:

Our Father who art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy name.

10 Thy kingdom come,

Thy will be done,

    On earth as it is in heaven.

11 Give us this day our daily bread;[b]

12 And forgive us our debts,

    As we also have forgiven our debtors;

13 And lead us not into temptation,

    But deliver us from evil.[c]

14 For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you; 15 but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Concerning Fasting

16 “And when you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have their reward. 17 But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, 18 that your fasting may not be seen by men but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

Concerning Treasures

19 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust[d] consume and where thieves break in and steal, 20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust[e] consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

The Sound Eye

22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is sound, your whole body will be full of light; 23 but if your eye is not sound, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!

Serving Two Masters

24 “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.[f]

Do Not Worry

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his span of life?[g] 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O men of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek all these things; and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well. 34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day’s own trouble be sufficient for the day.

Footnotes:

6.6 This does not, of course, exclude public worship but ostentatious prayer.

Matthew 6:11 Or our bread for the morrow

Matthew 6:13 Or the evil one. Other authorities, some ancient, add, in some form, For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, for ever. Amen.

Matthew 6:19 Or worm

Matthew 6:20 Or worm

6.24 mammon: i.e., riches.

Matthew 6:27 Or to his stature

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I’ll give you the short meanings of each topic.  First off, don’t let anybody know of the good deeds that you do as in order to get praise.  Secondly, when not attending Mass, pray in private, man.  God will reward you there.  If you want the attention and people knowing that you pray to show them just how good of a person you are, then that will be your reward.  If you want a real reward, keep it to yourself, man.  Oh, and while you’re at it.  FORGIVE or else don’t expect to be forgiven when it’s your time to ask for it.  Oh yeah, and that thing we call money that we want to flash out to everybody so that they can see how badass you are?  Good for you.  Our time here is just temporary, man.  If you wanna party for a fraction of a second here, go ahead.  If you want to be invited to the real party, you’ll keep your stash in your savings account that you can’t access until you check out of this place first.  While we’re at it, you can’t serve God and seek to gain all the monies either, dude.  You gotta choose which one is more important to you.  Choose wisely, by the way.  And lastly, be cool, man.  God’s got you.  If you love him, he’ll never let you down.  He knows what you need to survive and you’ll have it.  Chill out.

That’s why I don’t wear shirts about religion, start conversations about religion, or blast these Christian pop songs.  Actually, to be honest, those “praise and worship” “Christian rock/pop” or whatever people want to call it is actually almost offensive to me.  Don’t get pissed off, let me explain.  As a Catholic attending a FSSP parish, I’ve been further exposed to Gregorian Chant.  Chant has been Holy Mother Church’s music for about 1,300 years and as my previous blog attests to, I live by the motto of “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”.  To me, if you want to sing about God, He already gave us the music to play.  Leave secular music where it belongs… outside of the church.  I know, it’s just my opinion, but I got my reasons behind my opinion.  Actually, now that I think of it, an argument can be made that pop music for Jesus could go against the teachings from Matthew Chapter 6 that I just mentioned.  In any event, I don’t partake or listen to any of that nonsense or make it known unless asked that I’m versed in my faith.  I try to lead as much of a pious life as I can and know that each day that I do a good job at that, I’m one step closer to having a shorter term in purgatory when my number is called.

With that all said I have also made it a routine to visit Crisis Magazine which posts 2 long essays a day about various topics.  The authors of these essays brief biography is posted after each essay to let the reader know of their history and background to also solidify the fact that they do indeed have some knowledge about the topic they happen to be writing about.  Some of the essays, however, are still a bit much for me.  Mainly it’s the ones that blame the “liberals” or the Democratic Party (they use the terms interchangeably) for the faults of society as we know it today.  That’s where they get things wrong, in my opinion.  It’s not just the “liberals”, it’s everybody who decides to not follow their moral conscience and God knows that conservative people are NOT free of blame in doing shady messed up things either.  They are just as guilty as everybody else.  But, looking past that, I tend to be in agreement with every other article because these people actually know their faith.  The basis on their arguments that they made in defense of an action or a call to stop an action is based not only on Bible references, but on Church history, which is the way it should be.  The doctors, saints, confessors, and martyrs of Holy Mother Church and their stories and teachings are also points of reference in the faith and enrich one’s life in faith.

Now, the other day, this article struck a chord with me that has reverberated enough that I am writing this long diatribe now.  I was reading along to it nodding in agreement until just a few paragraphs into the essay, the author writes this:

“Has our culture now reached the place where the gold standard for “love” is uncommitted, easy, no-strings-attached infatuation?”

and further goes on about speaking about a protestant megachurch preacher (makes me wonder why she even watched/heard this unless it was just for further research for her essay) and his 45 minute talk about marriage that didn’t mention children once,

“It seems being a married couple need not have anything to do with babies, sacrifice, helping one another get to Heaven, or the multiplication of love. Marriage is, apparently, only there to make you feel good.  Heaven forbid you wake up one day with a stuffy nose, bad mood, or passing fancy, like Ms. Afont did, and discover you might just feel otherwise.”

I stopped reading right there and really thought about it.  The thought that came to me was “Man, she’s right.”  Men and women today don’t give a damn about anything but themselves nowadays.  There’s no family life anymore.  Hell, just look at the divorce rates!  There’s no yearning to live a good enough life to give yourself at least a fighting chance to make it to Heaven and live in eternal peace, happiness, and pure love.  No, most people and I’ll say society as a whole now just want instant gratification with no consequences for their actions.  “Here’s to feeling good all the time!” as Kramer once so beautifully said on Seinfeld.  Nobody wants to take the road less traveled, the difficult road, the whatever you wanna call it road that leads to the better prize.  Nope.  People want just a taste of the sweetness and not the whole thing.  Work for it?  Why the hell do that?  That’s crazy talk!

That leads me to my situation.  Not to sound like a narcissist, but that really can explain why it is that I’m solo deep.  Well, let’s not forget about the fact that I’m also short and fat, but that’s beside the point.  I’m not choosing the secular or protestant path.  I’m choosing the Catholic path and most people I know are a little averse to it, if you want me to be honest.  I don’t want to live a life filled with carnal pleasures just to have fun.  Honestly, I never have, but that belief is even more reaffirmed now.  I don’t want to get into a serious relationship just so that I can have relations regularly.  Ha!  Funny I even mention that because typing that out reminded me of one of my ex-girlfriends back in my early 20s.  She actually said something to the effect of “Well, that’s why you get a significant other, no?  for the guaranteed sex.”  Even then I said (or at least gave the facial expression of) “WTF?”  Ummm, no.  Sorry to ruin that idea for you that all guys want is sex.  I don’t.  I want to find a wife that will help me get to heaven.  God willing said wife and I will be blessed with children that we can also raise in the faith and teach them the ways to get to heaven too.  Yes, I would like to have similar interests as well.  I want a woman who will not look at me with some shocked face and call me stupid because I want to watch nerdy documentaries.  I want a woman who won’t judge me for going all over the spectrum of music when listening to it.  Oh, and aside from holy obligations, can it be cool to watch NASCAR, football, baseball, golf, and hockey too?  And while we’re on favors and holy obligations, can I also have a woman who won’t come up with excuses to not to go Mass on Sundays and other holy days of obligation?

My search continues.

Until next blog, y’all!