Forever a Clone

I'm just a clone, talking away while nobody listens

Peace out 2016, Holler at me 2017

This is it.  We made it, y’all.  2016 and its crazy ass has finally come to an end.  Globally, I must say we had a pretty bad year.  Lots of terrorist acts, lots of war, and lot of death of people who are known by a lot of other people came to pass this year.  I know a lot of people are upset about it and have been taking note about how bad it’s been for us as a whole.  I tend to agree with them, but in what has been my nature more strongly for the past 5.5 years, I tend to focus on the positives.  I had a lot of positive things happen in my life this year.  In January, I made the decision to not live with anxiety and a too large of amount of stress for me to handle and the positive outcomes came from there.  I did fail, however, to get started on my weight loss goals but that’s to come later.

More great things came this year.  Most notably, I cut half the commute from my drive to both work and my parish and moved to central El Paso and even though I didn’t have any reservations about it, I had no idea at how awesome it would turn out to be.   Everything that I need or like is minutes away and the peace and quiet I get now is an even bigger Godsend.   Another great thing that came about from my change mid-year was that a true nature I’ve always had really flourished like a wildfire.  That true nature I speak of is my introvert nature.  I’ve always had it, but it wasn’t until I was truly on my own that it just consumed me.  I have honestly never been as happy in my life as I am now.  It’s the greatest thing ever.  Now, I have nobody to put a fake act on for, nobody to try to conform to, etc.  I can truly be me now and me is that dude who would rather be left alone, hates and honestly feels sick down to my bones to be in a crowd of strangers for more than a few minutes, who loves to spend time with only a select group of friends, and who finds comfort in music, movies, and the general arts of all kinds.  Granted, the last thing is something that more than just introverts to, I find that I don’t have to feel weird about my musical tastes because I’m liberated to be who I want to be without judgement.

With that all said, my very positive personal life changes has brought about resentment and probably a loss of friendships along the way with it too, but if you want me to be completely honest, I’ll say that if people can’t accept who I am, who I aspire to be, and what I stand for personally, then they don’t need to be in my life.  Simple as that.  I am sick and tired of being surrounded by negativity.  Again, for the past 5 years, I’ve done my best at always living looking at the positive in things and people and I have completely stopped dwelling in the bad in people and in things.  Sure, I’m aware they exist, but I refuse to let it consume me.  I also never have held grudges, but even more so now I forget and forgive as Jesus told Peter in Matthew Chapter 18 verse 21,

“21 Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”

I’m always going to be the same funny, happy, comedic (even horribly punny and cheesy), stupid moron.  I have no time to say out loud or to myself “remember what this jerk did to me?  F that person!”  Nah, that’s stupid.  I refuse to waste my life that way.

So, Sunday morning will bring on 2017 and the renewal of hopes and dreams for everybody, myself included.  I’ve never been one to do New Year’s resolutions, but I will say this.  I’m going to put my plans in motion to get myself in a better physical shape than round.  (LOL!) and I will continue to be the person I am regardless of the consequences of the judgements of others.  I’m going to be me and do what makes me happy.  That’s pretty much stay home, stay focused on my weight loss, laugh a lot more, spend time with the friends and family that accept me for who I am and don’t want to change me, watch more awesome movies, listen to great music, and hopefully make awesome music too.  I have plenty of room for those who want to join me, but if you don’t want to or want to get off the ride; I’m not going to stop you either.  In the words of “King” George Strait, “I ain’t here for a long time; I’m here for a good time.”

Good Enough

I’ve had one of the most interesting weeks in quite some time. Actually, it’s been more like 2 weeks that have been having me thinking about things in my life again. It all started the week of my birthday early last week. My pops shot me a text and asked if he could come over to drop off my birthday gift. I happily said of course and shortly thereafter he and his wife came over. I had such a good feeling having him over again. We talked about sports and the possibilities of fishing and camping this upcoming year and that got me all excited for the awesome times we may be having. After they left the weird thought about it all started to creep in. I wonder if he’s proud of me. I know, some of you may think that even thinking that is stupid enough, but hear me out. I mean, I know that all parents are proud of their children for one reason or another, but there are kids that happen to fail in life in one way or another you know? Some turn out to be criminals, some end up homeless or destitute, etc. You get what I’m saying. In my case, I know that he wishes I wasn’t alone. Dude won’t admit that to me or anything, but I’ve heard it from other sources that that’s how he feels. So I think about that sometimes. Is the way my life has turned out been OK for him? Is this how he thought I would turn out? Did I fail him and my mom (before she passed away 8 years ago) with the choices I made in my life? It really does make me wonder. I’ve always felt that I’ve had to live up to standards that my family set and now that I look at my life, I’m not even sure I have met them. I will say, however, that I’m happy. I’m happy with the way my life is at the current moment. I have a beautiful apartment that’s central to everywhere I need to be, I have a job that gives me very minimal stress, and I have a great group of close friends that keep me very much insane. I can’t ask for very much more. Funny thing is that the thing I had wanted previously, I’m getting now. Peace and quiet. I love silence and the serenity that it brings me. I’ve gotten all the silence I’ve needed as of late. So, back to the question about my dad. I don’t think I’ll ever find out the answer to my question because we just don’t have that type of relationship, but I hope that by him seeing that I’m happy with my life, he can be proud of me.

With that odd cloud hanging over me, I had a very strange week starting this past Monday. A few people from my past or people connected with said past came in contact with me starting this past Monday and to be honest, it put me in a very strange mood. There were plenty of events that I pretty much buried that were dug back up. I buried those things for a reason and I really didn’t want my mood to be killed, but alas there it was. I think I actually masked it well enough during the week and I really tried to get it to not effect me as much as it could have. Some people noticed, but I really think I fought off the worst of it all. Why this week of all weeks, right?!

Which brings me to a more joyous topic, Christmas! Christmas week is here and I couldn’t be happier. It’s my time to get closer to God and family alike. …AND get my Christmas music and movies in! I’ve actually been quite glued to iHeartCountryChristmas for about 2 weeks now and I still can’t get enough. I’m an idiot though! I wonder why I never purchased George Strait’s Christmas album. I need that in my life. Hahaha! But, anyway, Christmas music will be played even more by me this week and our family tradition of gathering at my grandparents house on Christmas Eve will continue this year. I’m getting the chance to bake my celebrated ham, dad’s roasting a turkey, and everybody else is bringing other dishes so that we can have a good meal with family. I can’t wait. On Sunday after Mass, I’ll be sure to be sitting on my couch watching my Christmas Film playlist while sipping on Egg Nog, Hot Chocolate, Coffee, or maybe all 3. Not at the same time, of course. And thanks to the holiday falling over the weekend, I get Monday off as well, so I can’t complain at all.

I hope you all have a great Christmas week as well. We’re almost done with 2016 (thank God!) Everything is starting new again soon enough, my friends! I’m looking forward to the change!

Birthday Fun!

So, today I turned 36.  Damn.  I’m tripping out even typing that.  I didn’t think I’d be where I am, or the person I am today many many moons ago when I thought about becoming an adult.  I’m actually glad the way things have turned out for me honestly.  Over the years friends have come, some have gone, and each day I strive to be a better person.

I thought about just how blessed I am this morning as I woke up an hour earlier than I was wanting to, but immediately opened up my birthday card that my dad and his wife had dropped off earlier in the week.  That visit actually brought along thoughts that I’ll probably share on another post, but anyway I opened up the card and immediately felt the love.  It was cool.  Hell, it actually started after Mass last night when I opened my first present.  It was George Strait’s Straight Out of the Box 2 CD boxset that my sibling gave me.  For those that don’t know, King George is my all-time favorite country music artist so I tried my best to hold the real excitement of it all!  Back to this morning though, after opening up my birthday card from dad, I made a quick playlist of songs some of my favorite artists, including Metallica, Pantera, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, George Strait, and of course Steel Panther!  Then the real fun started!  I got tweets and Facebook posts right after and thankfully they haven’t stopped since then.  What’s even crazier is that my coworkers totally streamed out the cubicle I’m at this week and gave me a KICK ASS birthday basket full of some of the things I love!

I’ll tell you something, my friends.  It’s good to feel loved by the people whom you love dearly, even if it is for one day.  I think my 36th ranks right up there with last year with family in Vegas, my 31st when I threw myself a party at Peter Piper Pizza, got my name announced like a little kid (because it’s like Chuck E. Cheese’s… kids have their birthday parties there for those that don’t know what it is.  LOL), then later on that evening we played a gig at our favorite bar to play at with family and friends around and had a great time.  I think today is ranking right up there with them.  Tonight we’re planning on going to our new favorite bar, to eat after that, then to my place to turn the party dial to a solid 11.  I’m sure you’ll see some of it on Facebook, twitter, Instagram, and/or Snapchat!

So here’s to another year, and here’s to making new friends here on WordPress as well!

What’s in a name?

Last Friday, I got into a conversation with a coworker of mine about past relationships and whatnot.  What brought that along, actually, was the fact that in our work we see a lot of names throughout the day.  Some days, like that day, I come across a name that still brings bad feelings my way.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those people who lives in the past and can’t get over things… I’m over my past, but at the same time I can clearly recall the negativity of the past as well.  There are really only 2 names that really top the list for me and for different reasons too.  The things that these two did to me were so bad that even the thought of them makes me shake my head in disgust over allowing myself to get so involved.

It was so odd how it all came about on Friday too.  I saw the name and thought about it for a couple of minutes then I asked my coworker if he had any ex-girlfriends/wives or ex-friends who he thought about as soon as he heard their names and sure enough there we both went on this historical diatribe of hurt feelings.  HAHAHAHA!  I shouldn’t laugh about it, but it’s just amazing the lasting effects that close relationships bring us as a species.  Why do we allow ourselves to do that, I wonder?  I mean, why do we allow ourselves to still care even years after the fact?  Romantic relationship wise, I suppose I can understand because people, in general , learn from their mistakes or at least try to and try not to repeat the same mistakes by getting themselves involved with another person similar to their last failed relationship.  This sometimes does not work out.  I found out both personally with my own experience, and oddly enough hearing the story from the coworker I was talking to.  We were both laughing over just the incredible mistakes we made thinking something to the effect of “Well, this woman doesn’t do ___ or ___ or ___ either, so there shouldn’t be any insane problems, right?!” only to find out that there was either similar madness just displayed a different way or a whole new set of problems.  As for me, the “holy smokes, this woman is a completely different type of insane!” ex-girlfriend’s actions didn’t put her on my very short list of names that brings back bad emotions.  Whew!  Thank God!  But still I wonder why some of us keep more bad memories than good ones, especially ones like this last one I mentioned.

I know that losing friendships is another type of hurt too.  It’s a different form of intimacy.  I have only really lost two friends in my life.  Oddly enough I was a common denominator between them too and at least with one of them the other person was the reason that friendship was lost.  I still don’t understand it to this day.  This person from one day to the next just dropped me like a bad habit without even giving me the chance to explain myself or fix whatever it was that was broken in the relationship.  Any time I see that name, and it’s a very very very uncommon name, just bums me out.  At least that other friendship that was lost was a decision on my part because this person ended up being a very horrible person.  They kept a lot of things from me that were only revealed after the fact.  Very creepy things too, mind you.  And don’t get me wrong, I get along with EVERYBODY!  Metalheads, dorks, nerds, gangsters, thugs, squares, loners, country folk, you name it I’m friends with them.  I draw the line at any activity that brings harm upon somebody else.  I will not be associated with anybody that does that, so once I found out this person does things like that AND to friends of mine, I severed all contact.

Anyway, the more I think about the topic now about names and the emotions we associate with them, the more I think about my life experiences.  Every day is a new chance to get things right.  To move on.  To move forward.  Take the lessons learned from your life but don’t harbor the bad.  That’s what I try to do.  That’s what I’m going to really work on this week too.  It’s my birthday week and I can’t be getting all worked up over history.  This week should and will be all about enjoying life with the people I care the most about!  Well, at least I hope that people will give me a bit of their time.

Off Topic Thoughts

Hello!  Me again!  Can you believe it’s December already?!  What the hell happened to this year?!  Where did it go?  Not that I’m complaining though because there has been a lot of negative stuff in the world that came about this year.  Actually, lots of good happened to me personally, but this year as a planet, we had a bad year.  My thoughts of some of it are to come on a future blog entry, but for this one I’d like to focus on my favorite time of the year.  Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day and the thoughts it brings.

There are quite a few times during the course of the week that I get comedically analytic about things that I wonder about.  I think I get it from my love of George Carlin (RIP!).  I always dissect things and ask the questions that people don’t normally even think about to which the guys always tell me something to the effect of “What the hell is wrong with you!?” as they laugh and or shake their head.

Well, one of those introspective thoughts came to me recently.  One of the reasons I love this time of year so much is because I LOVE to listen to Christmas music.  I’m a user of iHeartRadio and they have at least 4 different stations dedicated to nothing but Christmas music and that’s what I’ve been listening to on my way to and from work each weekday and there are a handful of classic songs out there that mention something to the effect of going back home for Christmas or wanting to go back home for the holidays and it brought up a thought.  In the words of the classic Ace song “How Long”, how long has this been going on?  I’ll admit that I’m not going to do any research on the matter and I’m just going to go off of common historical knowledge, or at least common to me, about the subject.  What I can best guess about it all is that people have always wanted to go to the bigger city to find a better and brighter future for themselves.  Fair enough, I suppose I can understand.  My question is if you hated your hometown so much, why the hell are you going back every Christmas or wishing you could if you didn’t?  Why did you leave in the first place?

I know I’m one of the freaks out there that actually loves my hometown and even though I have almost left this place on at least 4 different occasions, fate has left me here.  I’m not pissed about it at all.  The majority of my friends and family are here and I’m pretty centrally located to the places that I would like to go to do the things I love to do like camping (damn! I can’t WAIT for March/April to come about so that I can go out camping again!), visiting 2 of my favorite cities being Phoenix and Las Vegas, or heading east to see my friends who live in east and north Texas (that I really need to get my shit together and start doing).  I can get to those places by my preferred method, driving, pretty easily and none are too far from home where it’s really putting me out money or timewise.

Back to my thought, though.  Why did these people back in the day leave their home and go back for the holidays?  Why do people still do it now?  I know a lot of people that I grew up with that moved away and still live in the cities they moved to but occasional come back here to visit and that’s cool, but I don’t see ‘em writing posts on social media about missing home and whatnot.  I’m talking about the people that you read stories about on your favorite news website or see stories about on the national news broadcasts about airports being jam packed on the days before thanksgiving and around Christmas.  My other question to that is why does this circle keep happening?  Here’s what I mean.  Let’s say somebody in the Midwest somewhere grows up and wants to go to the big city somewhere to do something and goes out and does it, finds somebody, marries them, and has kids… Do those kids wish to move away from the big city and want a more simple life?  Do those kids of kids wonder why their parents live in the middle of nowhere and want to move to the big city?  It’s a big confusing circle, isn’t it?

These are just some of the stupid thoughts that keep my brain going.  I think I missed my calling as a stand-up comedian because I know there’s a bit in there somewhere just waiting to come out.  Ah, oh well.  As long as I can get a laugh or two out of the people who care to listen to some of these oddball thoughts I have, that’s all I really care about.  I’m here to make people smile and not take life so seriously.  I think that’s my true calling in life.  It’s my opinion that you gotta laugh about something at least 3 times a day.  If you aren’t, you’re doing it wrong man.

Have a great weekend, y’all!  I’ll be back sometime in the future with something as equally as odd to talk about!

Love and Peace!


Mind Games

It’s a beautiful day outside today where I am on this planet of ours.  It’s overcast, probably with a few sprinkles of rain falling down, and cold.  It’s pretty much perfect weather to stay indoors wrapped up in blankets while drinking some sort of hot beverage.  I’ll get to doing that later on today.  In the meantime, my current workstation has allowed for something that I haven’t done much of lately which is daydream.  I wonder if anybody that ends up reading this blog daydreams as much as I do.  I’ll be honest, it’s a big part of what keeps me in such a good mood most of the time.  Now, I should say that if you come across me in the real world I won’t be with eyes glazed over staring into the far off distance, but any chance I get to sit and take a breather, you can bet I’m letting my mind think about whatever it wants to.  I think it’s a kind of stress reliever for me to be honest.  I always seem to be thinking about things that would be awesome if they happened in real life and not just to me, mind you.  I think deep down inside we all want to live in a peaceful and tranquil place, so that’s no different I suppose.  I just happen to think about it a lot.

I also let myself think about goals I set for myself or things I would like to have.  Some good things have come out of it too, actually.  I’ve planted mental seeds to get myself to go on awesome trips, get myself motivated to change eating habits and get to the gym, and even get-togethers with family and friends this way.  I guess if you haven’t noticed by those previous statements beforehand I’m not very much of an impulse action oriented dude.  I’m very calculated in all my actions, much to the annoyance of friends.  I just can’t help it most of the time.  I need to know what’s going to happen two steps ahead so that I can prepare.

So here I sit, on a break from work pretty happy because of the weather and because of the things that my brain is thinking about hoping for good things to happen.

I hope you’re having a badass day too!

Life Goals

Salutations, y’all!  I hope this Thanksgiving week (for those in the U.S.) hasn’t been all that bad to you.  As for myself?  As always, things could be better, but they could be a lot worse as well.  There’s been something on my mind lately and I think it’s about time that I share some of it.  The topic of “putting myself out there”, marriage, and the alternative being the religious life, has been circling my life again as of late.  I don’t recall myself talking too much about it previously, so I figured I might as well give my take a shot here and now.

As the people that know me or have at least talked to me outside of this digital world know, I’m a pretty quiet and reserved dude.  I really don’t talk too much because I’m of the mind that unless I really have something to say, I’m not going to talk just for the sake of talking.  On the other hand, if somebody asks me a question about a topic that I am interested in or involved in in some sort, I can go on forever talking about whatever subject that may be.

One of topics happens to be my personal relationship life, if that’s a good way to put it.  Inevitably this topic will come up at one point or another with everybody when they start to get to know me if they want to.  I get asked things like “So, you’ve never been married?” and “So, you don’t have any kids?” followed by “Do you want to get married eventually?” and/or “Do you want kids?”  In turn my answers turn into a brief history over how I’ve left myself open for said opportunities and have gotten my heart and soul destroyed in return.  All of those individual lessons and my ever-growing faith in our Lord Jesus Christ has taught me to choose a lot more wisely when it comes to that subject.  Those two reasons pretty much get in my discussions with other friends about why I refuse to just go out and try and get with any woman who will have me, or go out and do these one night stand type of deals or whatever else.  It doesn’t appeal to me at all.  Actually, to be honest, I find the idea repulsive.  I can already hear my a-hole friends getting their loving insults ready to throw my way over even stating that, but it’s true.

Of course, after that is all said, the follow up comment to that usually is “well, if you’re not going to put yourself out there and go to places and whatever, why don’t you just become a priest!?”  L O L!!!!  I’ll note that I’m laughing because the majority of my friends are protestants and have NO idea of what the priestly life entails.  Sure, it’s a very important job and a great blessing from God, but it’s not for every man.  It’s not as easy as “Well!  I couldn’t find a wife, much less even a girlfriend, so I might as well just enter the seminary!  Woo!”  A lot of thought, prayer, and most of all a calling from God is needed for a man to successfully enter a seminary and dedicate their lives completely to Christ and His church.  There are no children of your own, no marriage, nothing of the sort.  I know in my heart of hearts, God’s plan calls for that in my life eventually.  And if not that, then it calls for a solitary life as a layman and not in a religious order.  Even though many people have told me that my character is that of a priest or what they believe a priest to be, I know it’s not where I should go with my life.

With that being said, going back to the marriage thing, I don’t want to just get married for the sake of being married either.  I know everybody wants to do things right and whatnot, but I really truly believe it.  If I ever do find that woman, I want to do things the right way.  I want to abstain from committing impure acts either alone or together.  I’ve done my fair share of committing grave and mortal sins for the fun of it and it’s gotten me nowhere.  I want to base my relationship on God, the way it should be.  After all, one of the main points of marriage is to help to get your spouse to Heaven.  I  want to have that type of relationship where that’s going to be put on Front Street right off the bat.  I know our society has made a mockery of traditional family values and that moral sense of obligation that I’m talking about, but I believe it with my whole heart.  In reality, we only get one shot at it in the eyes of God as it is (that is if you get married in the Church and go into the marriage with the full intention of said sacrament) so you are right if you think that I’m going to be really selective with my criteria.

I really hope it happens, to tell you the truth.  I hope that I’ll be part of one of those families that I see every Sunday morning at Mass.  Mom, dad, and children all building a more solid relationship with God one day at a time, one prayer at a time, one Mass at a time.  That would be cool.

Well, that’s all I got for today y’all.  Have an awesome rest of the week!  And for those reading in the U.S., have a great Thanksgiving!  Get food drunk and enjoy the day!


What is and What Could Have Been

Sometimes I wish I had a bit more human interaction so that I can come up with topics to write about because I really do enjoy writing this blog.  But then that would mean I’d actually have to talk to strange and stranger people.  Yeah, never mind.  Heh.  That doesn’t sound like it would be any sort of fun at all.  Not to me at least.  I’m weird, I know.  I’m that weird dude that will go out to a restaurant to eat alone.  The weird dude you see at the bar keeping to himself.  That guy.  That’s me.

Anyway, with the little human interaction that I do get, mainly at work, a certain thought came up.  What would have happened if things would have turned out differently in my youth?  Specifically moving away from my hometown of Anthony, and furthermore my old man choosing a house on the east side of El Paso as opposed to the (shitty) westside.  Yeah, I said it.  Shitty westside.  I really don’t like anything about it, but that’s neither here or there.  Back to the question I posed myself, what would have happened?  I think my life would have been radically different.  I would have never met my very close friends that I have now and God only knows where I would have ended up in my life.  Not that I’m one of those people who dwells on the “what if” factor and whatnot, because I really don’t, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t give it a quick thought.

I think parts of me would have stayed the same.  I know I would have still been a percussionist, but I would have either graduated from Franklin (shuttering at the thought) if my old man had gotten the house we checked out in the westside, or if nothing would have changed and we wouldn’t have moved I would have graduated from Anthony.  Either way, I know my friends wouldn’t have changed as a few of them actually went to high schools in west El Paso anyway.  Who else would I have hung out with?  Would I have joined some rock band like I did in my real life?  I’m sure I would have.  Where would I have gone career wise too?  Maybe things would have ended up differently.

All strange things to think about, but I’m happy that things turned out the way they did.  I still keep in touch, pretty much on Facebook, with a few friends of mine from Anthony (as I lived there from birth to age 11) but I gained some pretty incredible badass friends that I met on the eastside of town.  It’s wild to think that my best friend now is some dude I met for the first time only a few short months after I had moved.  Granted we really didn’t start hanging out until years later, the fact remains that we’ve known of each other’s existence for 25 years.  My other best friends (might as well be brothers) I met only 4 years after that.  Heh, come to think of it, I’m a man who finds comfort and just stays with it.  That explains all of the failed relationships I’ve ever had and every other thing that has happened in my life.  LOL!!!!  The old motto “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” goes a long way in my book.  Sometimes I don’t see that things are completely destroyed before it’s too late and I’m stuck on cleanup duty in the aftermath.  Now, I’m not saying that I should find new friends, I just went on a quick tangent on my ex-girlfriends.  I apologize.  What I’m trying to say is that I really do love how things turned out in my life.  I’ve met the most incredible people, both in real life and online, and although I can look back and wonder how things might have been I’m very happy the way they are now.  I’m 3 weeks away to the day from 36 years old and each day that comes and goes, the happier I am with my life.

That’s it for today, y’all!  I hope you have a badass weekend!  Stay safe and take time out to be thankful for what you got!

Back to Work and Hello Holiday Season!

What a week this one is turning out to be.  I know it’s only Tuesday, but it feels like this week is going to drag out forever.  I think it’s this schedule that I’m trying my best to jump start myself back into.  When I am behaving on my gym and eating habits and schedule I run a 16 hour day from 3am to 7pm during the week.  Getting to sleep at 7pm on Sunday nights if I happen to be away from home sucks and I always have a hard time waking up to get to the gym on Monday mornings.

That’s pretty much what happened to me yesterday after this (welcomed) 3 day weekend.  I went to my dad’s house and left after watching some of the NFL post game shows to see what they were saying about my Dallas Cowboys’ win against Pittsburgh.  I knew I was running late, but I couldn’t help myself.  I wanted to hear the experts’ take on what they thought of the team.  I got home with about enough time to only lose about half an hour of sleep, but I think my brain was still in love-glow mode thanks to the awesome win AND the incredible performance Alex Bowman put up in the 88 car (GO HENDRICK MOTORSPORTS AND THE REST OF TEAM CHEVY btw!!!!!) in the NASCAR race from Avondale, Arizona.   It was a good sports weekend for your boy over here, I’ll tell you.

Anyway, I decided to take a page out of Pee-Wee Herman’s playbook from his film Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure and play a trick BACK on my brain and went to sleep even earlier last night so that I wouldn’t wake up sleepy at 3am.  Well, a-hole brain got the last laugh as I woke up rested and ready to go at the crack of 2am this morning.  What the hell, right?  Instead of going back to sleep, I decided to make myself breakfast then hit up the gym afterwards.  Oddly enough, I’m not the only weirdo who goes to the gym between the hours of 3 and 4 in the morning.  There was a good amount of people there this morning at 3:30 when I got there.  I think I could have done better at the gym, but I’m not going to tell myself off quite yet.  This is a long road I’m going down and if I start complaining now, I’ll never get to my destination.  I gotta take each step at a time.

In other news, I’m still freakin’ excited about the holidays.  I can’t really tell you what the exact reason for this is, but I haven’t felt this excited about the fall/winter and the holidays that pass in them in quite some time.  I already purchased the soon-to-be-cooked meats, and I’ll get the other stuff I’m going to make myself over the upcoming weekend for next Thursday, aka Thanksgiving.  The only question is whether or not I’m going to make the 3 layer pumpkin cake (that people still talk about here at work years later) for myself (and friends and/or family who want to come have some) or not.  That being said, next Thursday should be a fun day filled with a parade, a meal, and some football all in the comforts of my home.  It’s going to be the first thanksgiving in my new place, so I think that’s why I’m looking forward to it so much.  I’m just hoping that I don’t get guilted in to having to go somewhere else.  I want to stay at home and enjoy my cooking even if it’s just for me.

Now I’m wondering how all of you are going to be spending the holidays this next month and a half.  What are some of your traditions?  I’m pretty curious to be honest.  Do y’all make a big deal out of these days?  I know I have followers from other countries, so Thanksgiving is out of the picture for you, but the religious celebrations that happen in mid-late December and the ringing in of the New Year are pretty common everywhere, right?

Wasting one’s hate

I, much like a few of my friends, am trying my best not to blog or otherwise post onto anywhere in social media about what went down here in the United States politically on Tuesday night, but I’ve recently had a discussion with one of my close friends about what we have been seeing on our Facebook feeds over the past few days concerning, how can I say this, unkind acts to certain demographics across this country.  Quite honestly, I’m not sure how to feel about that.  Some people feel that I should have a sense of outrage due to the fact that I am at least 80% Hispanic (Mexican specifically) and 20% American Indian (or Native American… however people want to call it) from my dad’s side and I’m not too sure of the native blood of my mom’s side but for sure 100% Hispanic from her.  Now, honestly I don’t know the percentage of what indigenous people from Mexico that part is coming from, but I know for a fact there is some.  Who knows if it was Incan, Mayan, or whatever else in Mexico, but in either case it’s in there.  So, I say all of that to say that I’m as minority as they come.  I was born in this beautiful state of Texas here in the United States, so even though I have a Spanish last name (yay to the Jewish people in Spain who came up with my last name!), and look pretty Mexican, I’m an American first.  Hell, I only poorly speak Spanish!  LOL!  Some people would joke I barely speak intelligible English!  Hahaha!  That’s beside the point.  I’m fluent in sarcasm, comedy, and vulgarity (in two languages even!) though!

I’m an American, and yes the President-Elect of this country has said some pretty racist things, sexist things, and every other form of bigoted thing, but the strange thing is that it doesn’t bother me.  I know, I know, this is the part where you gasp and say “DAVID!!!!!  HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SAY THAT?!?!”  Allow me to explain.  It doesn’t bother me because for whatever you want to blast out at me, I really don’t give a damn about any insults anybody that doesn’t know me throws my way.  Why should I care?  These theoretical people don’t know me, so their points are invalid as far as I’m concerned.  That’s not to say that it’s going to happen in my town because as of this latest census, El Paso is 81.3% Hispanic, and I’d like to argue even more so where I work and where I live, so the chances of any bigotry being flown my way is highly unlikely.  To my point, though, I still wouldn’t care if it did.

It’s happened before to me actually, so I feel like I have at least some experience with it.  I’ll tell you the short version of the story.  One cold, ice and snow filled early morning in the greater Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex after a night of seeing what ended up being after that night our NBA team of choice, the Dallas Mavericks, play a game against the Brooklyn Nets, drinking, and concert (we saw Quiet Company at a bar in Deep Ellum and I HIGHLY suggest giving them a listen) attending, we ended the long and icy cold night at a Whataburger.  What else are you supposed to do when you live in the southern United States where, God willing, there is a Whataburger in your area?

Mmmm… don’t even get me started with Whataburger.  That’s God’s gift to all mankind and I apologize to those who haven’t had the chance to enjoy a meal of food from there.

Anyway, I digress; my friends and I get to this Whataburger close to our friend’s house and proceed to look up at the menu to decide on what we’re going to order.  There were a few people in front of us, they order, and then we start to order.  Out of the 3 of us, I ordered last, I got my cup to fill with delicious root beer, and sat with my friends at a table.  A few minutes pass by and the people ahead of us get their meal.  Roughly 5 more minutes pass by and one of my friends gets his meal.  Another 2 minutes pass and my other friend gets his meal.  There I was thinking “hell yea!  I’m next!  I can’t wait!  These two guys are hammered drunk; I’m not by some miracle, so I can really enjoy this meal.  Cool!”  A few minutes pass by and the people that came in after we did get their meal too and I’m thinking “OK.  WTF?”  Well, 20 minutes pass by and I finally get my food.  I’m actually afraid, thinking about it now, that they probably did something to my burger because it was pretty tasteless (which never happens) and I’m sure the bastards probably spit in it.  Aside from that, there was no real reason why it took that long, aside from the fact that more than likely my skin was just a lil’ bit too tanned for the lady working the counter at the fast food joint at 2am there in north Texas.  I was the only real ethnic looking person in the joint (my friends included), so I quickly did the math and called it what it was.  What can I do, right?  No harm, no foul.  The extra time it took to get my food served to me allowed me to joke around some more with my friends and pick their intoxicated brains a bit.  The action only slightly bothered me, but I let it go just as fast.  People are going to do things like that.   If it makes them feel better about being assholes, then more power to them.  I choose to not feed that hunger for them.

I guess what I’m trying to say, in a very long winded form, is for people not to feed into the bigots, the racists, the whatever-phobic people out there’s actions if you do encounter them.  Don’t get pissed off and fire back at them.  That’s what they want.  Take note of it internally, and proceed with the rest of your activities.  And afterwards, pray for them.  Hate sucks, man.  And fighting hate with hate isn’t going to solve a damn thing.  I always go back to the beautiful words of the wrongfully accused black man in the film Harold and Kumar go to White Castle when he says, “In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should.”  I truly believe that.

Have a great weekend, y’all!

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