Hello again! I’m back yet again with more of my life stories and observations. I’ll be honest, this blog post may come off as angry, ranty, and negative but that’s how I’m feeling right now. I’m fed up with a lot of things and I think I’m finally coming to my breaking point.
This is what I mean. I can be almost positive that nobody has any respect for me. What I mean by that is that nobody cares about what I’m doing in my life. Just because I’m single and childless, apparently according to everybody else I have ALL the free time in the world to be of service to them. I’m not just talking about friends, I’m talking about family too. No offense, anybody, but I’m getting sick and FUCKING TIRED of it. I’m a very giving, caring, compassionate, and loving person but I’m really starting to feel like I’m being taken advantage of and I’m finally getting pissed off about it. It’s really only been the last month or so that has gotten to me as much because plans have been made, then later broken in some cases, or I’ve been thrust into doing things without even asking for my consent in the matter. And I know, I put myself in these situations and it’s damn near impossible for me to every say no to anybody, so I end up putting myself second to please other people, but I’m at my wits end. Things have gone too far, and some people have started to notice too and have actually told me I’m too nice. Bad thing is, that I can’t purposely be an asshole to anyone. Not that I think I can learn to be one and turn into one, but I know something has to change. How to change things is the question. What do I do? I’m at a crossroads in my life and I know things need fixing, but how is it that I go about fixing them? I think step one is to start to put myself first more than I do, which is hardly ever. After that, who knows. I’m lost, but I have no clear way to fix the problems and right the wrongs. Maybe this trip of mine next week and the hours on the road alone will help me sort things out.