I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, I know… enter your “dumbass” jokes here folks, but aside from the normal thinking I do, I’ve been thinking about the continuing story of my slow transformation from my near suicide attempt 18 months ago. Damn. Has it been 18 months? I suppose it has. Time flies when you’re not thinking of killing yourself, huh?!
A lot of things have been changing for the better within the last 6 months of this new journey. First and foremost, I’ve been using my vocal talents (ok, bust my balls here too) for a greater good than just singing Eric Carmen’s “All By Myself” to myself in the shower as I was invited to join the Saturday evening Mass’ Schola Cantorum. It’s been a great experience learning a new way to sing (Gregorian Chant), and even better the official language of my faith, the Catholic Church… being Latin of course. Sure, a lot of people don’t understand why I’m doing it. Why would they? What happened to the crazy dude, right?! What happened to hanging out on Saturdays and Mondays? Well, the crazy dude is still in here somewhere. Homeboy is just taking a break. How long of a break? Only God knows… but I like this new journey. It’s brought me to a better place mentally. I had always said in previous blogs that I was trying to find balance with trying to get my physical self right and my mental and spiritual self right as well. I think I’m finally getting there.
The reason I’m writing this right now is because I started a 3 day workshop (for a lack of a better term) conducted by our parish Nun. She happened to say something that stuck with me. She said “Don’t go and talk about Jesus. (wait for the pause) Know that you have faith in Him and you’ll be so happy people will come up to you and ask why you’re so happy…” I know that some of y’all are probably saying “WTF?!?!” right now, and yeah, it’s been a true statement for me. I hardly ever worry about anything anymore, nor have I for a while. I know that in the end all is going to work itself out. Call it what you will, but that’s how I believe it.
Anyway, back to blog update… so yea, since I’ve been re-establishing my faith (not that it was ever really gone, I was just on a laxed “I’ll go every now and again when it’s convenient but still be good with baby Jesus type of deal), I’ve been noticing that I’ve been focusing on getting my act together. That whole gym craze of early last year tapered off just a bit as well… I never really completely stopped going, but I was definitely not going as often as I should have. Well, I picked things up in a big bad way again in January and I’m finding that I am highly motivated to kick some serious ass and really get to it this year. I’m sure I can do it. I’m feeling the positive changes every day.
And speaking of those, I’m in the middle of trying a new thing that I hope will stick around too. For Lent, I’m abstaining from alcohol and soda. Two things that have been near and dear to my heart for some time. I’m finding that I really don’t need them. Plus, I’ve ramped up the intake a lil’ bit of my all time favorite beverage… MILK. YUM-O, right?! So, I’m figuring that even when Easter comes around, I’m still going to try and not drink soda except for that rare kick ass bottle of Dr Pepper, Barq’s or Big Red (if you don’t drink that, then F-U as my man Ricky Bobby would say), and I will be doing the same with the boozy booze. I don’t need it as much anymore. Plus, what the hell is so fun about drinking a shitload of it, not really feeling drunk, then blacking out and doing GOD knows what. Not fun to me, so peace the f word out I say to that too. Positive changes, y’all! Positive changes!
I LOVE YOU ALL!
Until next blog.
David, Clone, Fat Bastard, Mr. Sáenz, whatever y’all call me.